In light of our talk about community/friendships etc. I thought it would be good to talk a little about loneliness. Loneliness is something we all experience, whether we are isolated from others or immersed in the midst of community, whether extroverted, as I am, or introverted, young, old, married, single, gay or straight, we all feel it. Some of us might feel it more acutely than others. But none of us escapes it.

I am a firm believer that one needs to make friends with ones sense of ‘aloneness’, whether it be normal everyday feelings we may experience through to those that are deeper and more existential in nature.

While researching for my book on sexuality today, I came across the following quote by Henri Nouwen, a master at understanding human yearnings.

‘We ignore what we already know with a deep seated intuitive knowledge-that no love or friendship, no intimate embrace or tender kiss, no community, commune or collective, no man or woman, will ever be able to satisfy our desire to be released from our lonely condition. This truth is so disconcerting and painful that we are more prone to play games with our fantasies than to face the truth of our existence. Thus we keep hoping that one day we will find the man who really understands our experiences, the woman who will bring peace to our restless life, the job where we can fulfill our potentials, the book which will explain everything, and the place where we can feel at home. Such false hope leads us to make exhausting demands and prepares us for bitterness and dangerous hostility when we start discovering that nobody, and nothing can live up to our absolutistic expectations.’

what think ye?????

Well here we are back in good old sunny southern California! Thanks to all who made comments/said hello etc. - we didn’t respond till now and wondered whether anyone was actually reading the blog, as there were no comments! - Then Al discovered them all in some spam folder - at least now we can feel secure that we do have some friends!!

Well the last 6 weeks sure have been crazy. I was in Australia for the whole time, Al was around for 3 weeks, then back to the States for a conference in Orlando, then off to Germany, followed by Sweden!! Poor thing, he was so tired, & now he’s only here for another few days then he’s off again on another mad trip.

Our time together in Australia was extremely intense, visiting family & friends, with a whole host of speaking engagements thrown in there. We were laying in our hotel room one night after an intense day at the Forge Grassroots festival and I remember saying to Al how funny it was to be home, but the thing that was strange to me was that we felt like we were ‘just visiting’. He agreed. Home, didn’t have the same feel about it. Now Australia, and specifically Melbourne will always be our home, I guess what we realized at that moment, was, that we truly are in a season where we are ‘on the road’ so to speak, hence, home is where the suitcase is!

One of the things about being on the road is that you are forever saying goodbye. Goodbyes are never easy, especially when they are to loved ones, who you might not see for a long time. We have lived our whole lives in the context of a community - a place where we are ‘loved’ & ‘known’. A place where relationships have stood the test of time, where masks have been removed, where acceptance of who you has been experienced - these type of relationships are special, and as with anything we place value on - have usually cost us something.

Traveling as much as we have been, often to new places, more often than not in the context of a conference, we are regularly meeting lots of people. People with whom we are not ‘known’. It can seem like you know them - that’s the funny thing about conferences, especially when you all spend a few days together, you can kind of experience, to varying degrees what I call a ‘false intimacy’ . Of course it’s not intimacy at all, but it’s pleasant, momentary, and requires nothing further of you once you’ve said goodbye. I think us humans are good at this type of intimacy, because it doesn’t really cost us anything. At the moment for Al & I we seem to have lots more of the short term, false intimacy, as opposed to the longer enduring connection, the connections that nourish the soul. I wonder how long till we get hungry?………

Hey, this is the first post on our personal blog - it’s taken a while to get it organised, but here we are. Our first post is from our beloved, sunburnt country - Australia.

How weird to be back in Australia. It’s been 8 months since mum & dad drove us to the airport. 8 months since we said goodbye to our beloved Ruby (our 7 year old princess in a Boxer’s body). 8 months since we moved out of our beloved community - COMO & the Comosexuals. 8 months since we left Forge, St. Martin’s, the Salvos, a myriad of friends and of course our very loved families.

Anyway - just letting you all know that we will be posting here regularly, please feel free to connect with us, give us your comments, and just keep in touch……